So You Want To Be A Road Comic???

After spending a cool Friday night in the Millbury, OH Super 8 Motel… Cool, because the heater in the room didn’t work so super… It felt about a super 8 degrees IN the room… I was up early and on the road heading home…

Scribbling notes onto the yellow legal pad sitting on the seat beside me yesterday during the drive… I’ll start to decipher them into today’s blog… But first I’ll start with a prayer of thanks I drove home yesterday or I’d probably be spending the day in a ditch somewhere along the way… But at least the heater in my car works, so maybe it wouldn’t have been that bad… At least until I ran out of gas… And I’ve been told I NEVER run out of gas… Ask Tetta he’s ridden in the car with me…

Been thinking about compiling my blogs into a book… But do you call a book of road comic blogs???

Charles Kuralt already used the “On The Road with…” theme…

“On Stage with…”???

Maybe, but as any road comic will tell you… Not all the good stories happen on stage… Just like an old sailor’s “Sea Stories” not all the good ones happen at sea… Hell, as an old sailor… I can tell you for certain… The “good ones” happened on land…

“Oh the romance of these harbour towns
Lights that shimmer on canals
And in the bottom of your glass
The air buzzing with foreign tongues
And the occasional cries
Of sailors, tramps and rock 'n' rollers . . .

And another taste of cheap delight
Street food sizzling outside
Washed down with the local poison
These back alleys with their pinkish lights
And the occasional cries
Of smugglers, bums and credit card holders . . .”

…Joe Jackson

Sorry, I digress… I was having a flashback…

Comedy is a “Funny Business”… There’s nothing better than being on stage and in “The Zone”… Though getting there isn’t always easy… Despite prompt response to show drops… Sometimes that’s just the “Sub (Base) Way”… I guess I’ll just go there to eat…

It’s true… It’s a “Funny Business” when they say I’m “too blue”… But I’m not there to… Entertain the “Coastal” line… I’m there to entertain the crowd and they like it just fine…

It’s “Hysterical” that as a “Charter” member they say I can’t manage my career… Call me a fool… I’m just “Bonkerz” my April is almost full…

So you want to be a road comic???

Yes…

This is the day
Of the comedy man
That shape is my shade
There where I used to stand
It seems like only yesterday
I gazed through the glass
At jokers
Wild crowd workers
That's all in the past

You call me a fool
You say it's a crazy scheme
This one's for real
I already bought the dream
So useless to ask me why
Throw a kiss and say goodbye
I'll make it this time
I'm ready to cross that fine line

CHORUS:
I've learned to work the microphone
I'll say just what I feel
I don’t drink Scotch whiskey all night long
But I’ll probably die behind the wheel
They got a name for the winners in the world
I wanted a name, too
They call Alabama the Crimson Tide
Call me The Nuclear Guy

My back to the wall
A victim of laughing chance
This is for me
The essence of true romance
Sharing the things we know and love
With those of my kind
Laughter
Scenarios
That stagger the mind

I drive like a trucker
Across this country’s streets
Make love to this material
Languid and bittersweet
I'll rise when the sun goes down
Cover every game in town
A world of my own
I'll make it my home sweet home

…Apologies to Steely Dan

It's everything they say… Being on stage is… The end of a perfect day…

I don’t know what the rest of 2010 has in store… but in a “Paranormal” moment I’ll make this prediction… 2010 won’t be the year of my “Tiger Woods Moment”… ‘Cuz there’s a para-better than-normal waiting for me at home…

Happy New Year fellow road comics and to those who laugh at us… Thanks for laughing… To those wait for us… Thanks for keeping the home fires burning… To those who book us… Thanks, you are appreciated… And to those who don’t… Well…