Big League Dreams

Big League Dreams

A gangly adolescent with Big League Dreams, dressed in standard Catholic High School garb… Dress shoes, pants, collared dress shirt and tie and sport jacket… His shoulder length hair, that everyone else also seemed to be wearing at the time, more than ironically his only claim to individuality… Boarded a school bus on a warm October morning in the early 1970s, lost in his typical teenage thoughts…

Homework and good grades, balanced of course against being a nerd and not fitting in with the popular crowd… More than occasionally seeking the approval he didn’t always get at home in ways the authority of the day (Parents, Priests and Nuns) didn’t always appreciate… Speaking his mind, acting out against authority, usually quite loudly and social commentary on the events of the day or times… While garnering him attention, often had him in hot water with the said authorities of a typical teenager’s life…

Many years later, those same “endearing” qualities… Speaking his mind, often quite loudly… Acting out against authority and social commentary would lead him finally to the stage… Where the safety it provides him to say whatever was on his mind… While garnering the same immediate feedback and acceptance from complete strangers, that he had sought from family and friends his whole life…

But returning now, to our hero’s teenage thoughts as he finds a seat on the bus… Of course Catholic High School girls, pressing the short skirt limit as far up their thighs as the authorities of their day would let them, always had a place somewhere in his mind… Though his attempts at the social skills needed to interact with them were often met with rejection…

Sports were his refuge and warm October days in the early 1970s were a special time indeed… Weekday World Series games were still played on sunlit afternoons back then… A gangly, adolescent boy with Big League Dreams needed to take the necessary steps not to miss the action…  

And low and behold the authorities of the day help provide the means… A transistor radio with and ear piece tucked neatly in the inside breast pocket of his sport coat provided the rest…

Earpiece cord running inside the arm of his coat to the palm of his hand, he could sit head in hand during class… Feigning interest in geography and social studies class while his mind’s eye pictured the descriptions offered by the games announcers… And his teenage Big League Dreams still alive he wondered if he’d ever get the chance to perform on as big a stage…

Many years later… The realities of life having caused the Big League Dream to be long since forgotten… Much to his surprise after 9 years of military service, many years of a successful commercial nuclear power career and numerous crappy relationships… The Big League Dream was suddenly back from the dead and alive again!!!

No, he wouldn’t be hitting home runs or pitching no hitters in the seventh game of the World Series… Our hero had seen a feature story in the local paper about a comedy open mic… Where anyone could come in step on stage be handed the microphone and try their hand at being funny…

Many years later, using those same “endearing” qualities… Speaking his mind, often quite loudly… Acting out against authority and social commentary that always seemed to get him in trouble, (sometimes it still does) with a lifetime of experiences to talk about, our hero had found his home…

Of course he would have to spend his time in the minor leagues honing his skills… Eventually, his Big League Dream became a reality with opportunities to perform on Big League stages all across the country… Where the safety it provides him to say whatever was on his mind… Garnered him the same immediate feedback and acceptance from complete strangers, that he had sought from family and friends his whole life…

Life’s twists and turns weren’t done with our hero, though and last Friday night he stood at a bus stop in Idaho Falls… Listening to a ballgame, not on a transistor radio, but his cell phone… Broadcast live over the internet…  

Choosing his seat as he boarded the bus… The immortal words of “Crash Davis”, the veteran catcher in the movie “Bull Durham” echoed in his ears… “What the hell am I doing in ‘A’ ball???

The twists of life having taken our hero back to the minor league cities and minor league stages… He longed for one last shot at the Big League Dream and Big League Stages… One last shot before he has to hang up his microphone and settling for a “manager’s spot in Visalia” in his attempt to get back to “The Show”…

Fates twists and turns have some good things left for our hero… A chance to perform at the St. Charles, IL Zanies in June, the Twin Cities, Joke Joint in July and Las Vegas in September as part of this year’s World Series of Comedy are as good an ending as to this story as our hero could have ever dreamed on those warm October afternoons many, many years ago…

One last chance to up step to plate and quoting Roy Hobbs in “The Natural”… “To Swing Away”…