Composition Scatterings...

As I sort through the notes of joke and blog ideas scattered across my studio apartment, I realize they are just as scattered across my mind this cold and snowy day in Idaho Falls and have been for a while…

Some half baked ideas never cooked all the through… Some like cold turkey are leftovers waiting to be sandwiched between two new ideas… Some are twice baked notes scribbled on scraps of paper… Looking at the mess… I THINK I SHOULD TYPE THIS IN CAPS AS A TRIBUTE TO “THE BOB”…

Some ideas have already reached the end of their decay chain… While others scattering across my mind… Fission into new ideas…

It’s a snow day at the Idaho National Laboratory… So snow bound in my Idaho Falls apartment I’ll attempt to bring my thoughts under control… It will end either with something coherently readable or my mind as well as yours for reading it… Will vaporize into mushroom gravy you can serve on Thursday…

Finishing breakfast and a cup of coffee… I received the text this morning informing me the roads to lab had been closed just as I was about to head for my morning shower…

Remember snow days as a kid… we couldn’t wait to get outside to make a snow fort or to ride our sleds off the roof of the house… I did the adult thing today and U-turned back into bed…

But being older now also prevents me from being able to play “Pup Tent” all day long… Taking a look into the “mirror that lies… That couldn’t be me… It’s a gorilla disguised”… I knew despite having no where to go today… I couldn’t put the shower off any longer…

My studio apartment is no Playboy Mansion… My sweat clothes are no silk pajamas… But since I probably won’t be wearing anything but the sweat clothes I also sleep in all weekend long… I’m feeling a little like Hugh Hefner… But alas… I’ll be playing alone… Unlike a Catholic Priest somewhere who will be Play-ing with an altar Boy…

Shakespeare wrote of a “Mid-summer Night’s Dream”… I woke from a nap the last weekend in the middle of a “Nuclear Winter Nightmare” … Being an ex-submarine sailor… My cell phone ringer is set to a sonar ping… Stupid really… I still jump every time it goes off… But I digress…

Sound asleep… I’m awakened… In a scene straight from a black & white WWII submarine movie… Hot, sweaty, in need of a shave… By the familiar “PING”… Knowing I needed to react quickly… Yet eyes barely focusing in the dim gray light… Grabbing the phone and I attempt to tap out a Morse Code S.O.S. on a keyboard only big enough for the fingers of the “e-trade” baby… before it’s too late… But I get hit again “PING”… Knowing I really need to hurry now… It’s too late… the single “PINGS” for email and text message are too quickly followed by the “PING, PING, PING, PING, PING, PING…” of an incoming phone call… I’m left thinking whether to dive back down below the bed and rig for depth charges…

Mrs. Potato Head forgetting that no one can match the speed of her fingers on the keyboard had sent an email (“PING”) quickly followed by a text (“PING”)… Since I didn’t answer the email quick enough… And since I didn’t answer the text quick enough immediately followed that with the “PING, PING, PING, PING, PING…” of the incoming phone call…

Shell shocked and shaken… If it happens again… My cell might be “Running Silent and Deep” in the Snake River… A – ugha!!! A-ugha!!! Dive!!! Dive!!!

But the prospect of spending the Thanksgiving holiday alone has Mr. Potato Head missing his Sweet Potato even more… He can’t wait to get home for a piece of her sweet potato pie…

Looking forward to being his Ida-Ho Potato… He only has eyes for her… And he just loves to hear her say… “My Mr. Potato Head… What big eyes you have…”

Knowing of course the one she loves best is his “Dick Eye” … Just thinking about it gives Mr. Potato Head a “Wood-eye”…

Asked if would accept any invites to share Thanksgiving dinner somewhere… Mr. Potato Head declined… Stating the obvious… Then he’d have to social-eyes… When he’d much rather CAPITAL-EYES!!! That’s a little political humor thrown in there, just for you Ralph…

Mr. Potato Head will be returning to Rochester December 17th and he is considering all kinds of conceivable ways to make light of the new TSA security requirements… Although most of them would probably just get him mashed…

Since he has eyes on the back of his head though… He is thinking that he should be working for Homeland Security looking for terrorists… Yeah, Mohamed… I’ll be keepin’ an eye out for ya!!!

Mr. Potato Head will be home all day on Saturday December 18th, busy with travel preps… But if you are in the area… Scallop on over to say hello and get fried… Unfortunately, his new job prevents him from browning any hash…

Sunday December 19th, the Tater Tots will be visiting to celebrate an early Christmas and by Tuesday the 21st Mr. & Mrs. Potato Head and their three dogs should be in the RV and on the road back to Idaho…

A planned stopped sometime along the way in Denver to visit some of the other tots… And on to Idaho hopefully before New Years to plant some new roots…

Don’t roll your eyes at me… You liked know you liked it…