The Wayne County Scream Your Head Off News!!!

Pultneyville – We interrupt your regularly scheduled day with this breaking news!!!

Emergency workers responding in Pultneyville today found themselves part of a grizzly scene… According to the lone survivor of the event… Five adults, three dogs and a cat were eaten alive by a two inch, crazed field mouse… The mouse is still on the loose and considered to be dangerous… Please exercise caution and be sure to scream loudly, if you happen to sight the renegade mouse…

The lone survivor of this horrific event… A Long Island woman named Alice, who saved herself by jumping onto a kitchen counter… Unable to reach the phone to call 911… She summoned emergency workers to her home by emitting the most blood-curdling scream heard in the history of Wayne County emergency services…

Taking a page from the fishermen at the nearby marina describing the fish that got away… The Long Island woman described the mouse as ten feet long, with glistening white teeth… “The better to eat you with, my dear”, she claimed the mouse had told her…

While not directly involved in the attack Alice’s husband suffered a mild heart attack upon hearing her screams… But is now resting comfortably behind a sound proof door…

Now back to the war in Afghanistan…